Another Installment of When I Rule The World

Did anyone see that Octomom interview last night?  I’m disgusted.  Yes, I found it all fascinating from a media and cultural perspective when she had the babies.  I would really rather not fan her flames any longer.  She’s got issues and needs to deal with that and 14 kids.  Not national television or reality shows.

I saw about 4 minutes of it while flipping through channels last night.  I happened to be on the station when she was ranting at John & Kate Plus 8.  Granted, that 10-some has their own issues and I’m not writing about that now.  So here is what I see.  She’s on the bed, there were 4 or 5 crying babies on the bed around her, one attached to her breast feeding, not sure where the rest of them were.  Her other kids – one was sitting on the crib railing, a few were wrestling on the floor, not sure where the rest of them are.  Can only imagine how hard it is to keep tabs on 14 kids.

Anyhoo….Octomom was ranting on Kate about having 8 kids and she shouldn’t complain and blah blah blah.  Um…Octobitch…you should be careful where you are throwing stones.  Kate was married when she had her kids.  Kate has a husband/ex who is still the dad of 8 kids and still shows up to be part of that family.  As messed up as her life is, Kate is providing for her children and focused on being a mom (when she isn’t a reality star or on a book tour).  I tend to believe the stories I read about Kate.  Yes, I get she can be a bitch.  But what wife hasn’t lashed out at her husband in the face of life and children.  Do we really all believe she acted that way 100% of the time?  Personally, I don’t think so.  Also tend to believe the stories about John.  Got married earlier, has lots of kids, pressures of reality fame and scrutiny…and is out sowing his oats.  Seems more apparent that both had a hand in their marital troubles huh?

OK – I did get sidetracked there – didn’t mean to write about those two.  So back to my original intent:

Kate has a support structure around her to care for her children that were born out of a relationship and (hopefully) love.  She has not gone through ump-teen invitro procedures, when there was not a clear path of support.  And this doctor – what sane, professional, up-standing medical doctor would implant a woman with 8 more knowing she had 6 at home and no husband or boyfriend (or girlfriend) or support system.  She lives with her parents.  She relies on their support.  Didn’t the house go into foreclosure when she was in the hospital?

This woman needs serious help.  Badly.  Or she is going to mess those kids up!  Can’t you see the headlines 12-15-20 years from now?  Octobaby arrested for X, Y and Z….

To the title of this post – people like Octomom won’t be allowed to mess up another child.
It sick how many people that should not have children have children. 
Or ones that desperately want one struggle and go to the most extreme measures to conceive or adopt.
It’s not fair. 

It’s an injustice I would like to change When I Rule The World.

Groundhogs Day

Today I recognized a pattern in my work life – and wondering what lesson I have in front of me.

My career has been a series of Fixing Stuff.  I come in to an absolute or near-disaster mess.  Spend about 18 months fixing it, and then move on. My last employer (the Evil One, but not the one you are expecting) was the first job I stayed at more than 2 years.  I was there for 6 – and had plenty of projects come across my desk that involved Fixing broken Stuff.

I’ve been at Microsoft for 3 1/2 years.  Holy cow the time that has gone by!  I spent my first 18 months working on a new HR system.  It wasn’t necessarily Fixing Stuff, but it was implementing new systems and new workflows to better align the review process.  It was a hard project, atypical to cut my teeth on (or so they tell me). 

The next 12 months I was on a different HR-related project.  This one was much better, not as painful.  Plus I had a vendor working with me that was totally on their game (side note – also lots of vendor experience in my past, the good ones are few and far between).  That said, there was an internal group I had to partner with.  It was painful.  It was grueling.  It was the same exact meeting in different presentation over and over and over and over and over for 12 freaking months!  Somewhere along the way, two key stakeholder coined the Groundhogs Day label.

If you are not familiar with the movie – Bill Murray plays a TV reporter that repeats the same exact day every day until the “spell” is broken.  He learns how to manipulate the day.  How to each ice cream sundaes every meal knowing it won’t impact him.  How to catch items doomed to fall and break.  Essentially, the SAME day over and over with with different presentation.

Ergo – my 2nd project at Microsoft.

Then I moved to a different org.  I’ve been here nearly 11 complete months.  Today – it hit me during a meeting that I am, again, living in Groundhogs Day.  Do you have any idea how freaking hard it is to get anything done?  How to move forward?  When people keep wanting to go back and revisit conversations and decisions every month?  It’s no wonder the state we are at with this project.  Who can move forward when we are repeating ourselves?

I took a personal/professional development class series shortly after I moved here.  A few themes from those classes keep popping up in front of me in this job.  Things like…

• I attract to me that which occurs
• I will repeat a lesson until it’s complete and then move on
• How am I creating tangible, measurable results?  And if I’m not, what blockers are in my way (self-imposed or otherwise)

Something is right in front of me.  It could be as simple and tweaking a solitary dial.  It could be as challenging as a complete career assessment and redefining where I’m going to go next. 

One of my (frequent) coping mechanisms is to ignore what I don’t want to deal with.  Between Norman and my close friends, not much in my personal life escapes conversation.  It may take awhile to get there, but it happens.  Professionally?  I’ve been in auto-pilot mode for so long.  I’m one of those fortunate types that just falls into opportunities (or shall I say attracts them to me).  Question is – do I want to continue down this path?  Or is it time to shake things up and see what’s next.

Interesting questions for myself.  Particularly when yesterday 2 co-workers asked if I wanted to get together so we can each interview and brainstorm with each other to identify career paths.  Should be an interesting coffee talk this week.

Hope to provide an update on this at some future point.

Social Networking forced my walls down

I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon as I delve more into social networking.  I’m by all accounts an introvert.  Not like I haven’t said that here a gazillion times before…anyway…  I write on this site that publishes to the internets.  I tweet.  I’m on facebook.  I’ve recently stepped out of my introverted-comfort zone to attend events like BowlHer and Ignite.  And believe me those in-person events can make me break out into a cold sweat!  These have been more on the “safe” side, no heart palpitations, no wilting flowers…actually putting myself out there, scars and all!  Making an effort to put my foot forward first, initiate a conversation, ask questions more than listen.  It can be exhausting by the end of the day.  I am getting a sense of satisfaction there so it must be doing something for me. (I can hear my husband cheering this realization as I type this)

Particularly in regards to Twitter – people that follow me, friends on facebook (where my tweets auto-publish) talk to me about how funny some of my comments are.  Or that they didn’t know that about me.  Or how brutally honest I am.  Or that I published a really interesting article.  Or a funny video. Or…Or…OR!

These are thoughts and feelings and experiences that I typically don’t share with anyone but close, close friends.  Most of those people on Twitter following me or facebook “friends” aren’t the close ones.  I haven’t seen or talked to them since High School, only share snarky comments about work or news or politics, share useless facebook quiz results and Remember When stories…  Some of them are even complete strangers! 

They know more about me than I would otherwise share until doors are willingly opened to come inside my walls.  Layer by layer.  Over time.

This bothered me for all of 10 seconds. 

Then I thought – Fuck It.  So what if people can see into me more quickly?  It’s all out there.  It won’t change who I am or what I’ll say or do.  Maybe it makes things easier.  Maybe it weeds out the Don’t-Wants even faster. 

It’s who I already am in a whole new world of connection and communication. 

I’m still an introvert. 

Maybe you will understand a bit more of me in the process.

Take me or leave me – here I am!

August thought:

I have a Quotable Calendar hanging in my office.  I like turning to a new month and see what kind of wisdom I’ll be pondering the next few weeks.  Today – got in and swtiched it up for August:

open your eyes
to the beauty around you,

open your mind
to the wonders of life,

open your heart
to those who love you,

and always
be true to yourself.

~donna davis

I think there is a lesson for me in there.