Daily word–Responsibility

This daily word thing has been interesting so far. 23 days into the calendar year. Which feels like 2 months already.

I’ve forgotten twice in the last week to pick a word at all.

I’ve picked a word late at night 3 times, going to sleep thinking about my word.

Yesterday I pulled Responsibility (when I actually started this post).

I’m going to PMI-geek out now…anyone know what a RACI chart is? Quite honestly, I shudder hearing the term. I have wasted TOO much time in the last 4 years of my career trying to discern a RACI and fighting back that you need to keep it high level so you aren’t micro-managing people. For instance, I do NOT want to be the kind of project manager dealing with…. On Day 534, Jen Must Notify Norman that it’s time to open the door (task #2,359). Subsequently, on Day 534, Jen Must Notify Norman that he should walk to the mailbox (task #2,360) and retrieve the mail (task #2,361)….My gawd I would lose my mind! Not to mention Norman being irritated for being nagged about to get the mail.

Anyway – my point is the R = Responsible and the A = Accountable. Some people see them as interchangeable, or put both on that RACI chart. But they aren’t. The Accountable party is the one you go after when the work isn’t done, regardless if they are doing the work or not. The Responsible does the work, or tasks, and answers to the Accountable party.  If the Accountable person is on the hot seat, you are for damn sure the Responsible person is in for a world of hurt. (why am I going down this road, I already passed my PMP…)

Anyhoo….

My point is the word yesterday was Responsibility. So I need to go and do the work.

01/05/2013 Daily Word–Purpose

My word yesterday was also Purpose. I almost put the card back today to pick another one. Then I thought, OK, there must be something more to Purpose showing up two days in a row.

Purpose can be interpreted in so many different way. My Purpose in Life, the Purpose of my job, the Purpose of a seat belt…(I’m typing Purpose so many times, it doesn’t look right any longer)

I don’t have the mental wherewithal right now to get all contemplative on why Purpose is my word. I want to go read my book. I want to spend one more day doing nothing. I want to enjoy as much of this two week break as humanly possible.

Today, for me, Purpose means keeping to this new year commitment with a daily word, reflection and continued vulnerability.

01/03/2013 Daily Word –CLARITY

I posted on Facebook earlier today that my intention this year is to draw a word a day to reflect upon. Towards the end of last year I felt like I was on the cusp of something. Not quite sure what that is yet. I have been drawn back to some personal development work I did shortly after I moved to Seattle. Reminders about that work I did was popping up in the most curious of places. Conversations, opportunities, reminders, etc. etc. etc.!

Yes – the universe is trying to tell me something.

So I should probably listen.

Today I took down our holiday decorations and laid them all out on the dining room table. Each year, I attempt to get all of it back into 4 containers. If it doesn’t fit, I get rid of something. I don’t really need more than 3 containers of Christmas decorations and one for Hanukkah. We have enough stuff as it is. My work is nearly complete, just waiting on some dish towels to dry.

I was listening to the Les Misérables soundtrack while I did my work. Many songs bring me to tears every time I hear it, today was no exception. It felt pretty good actually, like a healthy release. Very cathartic.

I was also thinking about last year at this time. Taking down the decorations I was listening to NIN Pretty Hate Machine. I wanted to just throw it all away, I was so angry and in so much pain. I did realize nearly 6 weeks after my return, that the work trip in the Fall of 2011 really did a number on me. I was talking to my therapist about it, and a few very close friends. (Oh yeah, and I did post on here with more details of the whole trip) By the time I was taking holiday decorations down, I knew why I was such a mess and just trying to figure out how to Forgive Myself and move past it all.

It has been very clear to me this holiday that I have felt much lighter than last year. I actually enjoyed the holidays this time around. I didn’t get too stressed, I took two whole weeks off of work, I spent a lot of time with family and friends. It has been a great reminder of being able to move past my shit. It has also really illuminated what a bad state I was in a year ago.

So I am thankful that I was able to treat myself with Grace and committed enough to work through my emotions instead of hiding from them.

I also feel that this Daily Word thing is a good path to be on right now.